No one is safe from an Aspie

Shortly after returning from church camp in the Summer of 2003, I asked #4, then 10, what he did at church camp. His reply was, “nothing.” I knew better than to ask such a vague, abstract question. I rephrased it. What activities did you do? He told me he went swimming and canoeing, and a went to a lot of meetings.

I asked him what he learned there. He replied very matter of fact, “I learned it is okay to be a cannibal.” I stopped dead in my tracks to the apartment’s pool. Silence on my part for a few. I could tell he was quite serious and rather intrigued. I needed to approach this with caution! I knew he took what we said literally. I just didn’t realize to what extent.

Although I’m sure he would have never eaten anyone, I considered this to be one of those stop the world for teaching moments. He was referring to words written in the Holy Bible describing the Lord’s Supper and words spoken in Christian’s symbolic ritual, The Holy Communion. After explaining this was symbolic for God giving his only begotten son, Jesus, to die for us, and that if we believe in and learn from Him we would be nourished spiritually, healed, and have everlasting life. He could not understand why they didn’t just say this.

This kind of misinterpretation still goes on some to this day. However, I use figures of speech, figurative language, idioms, and symbolism, freely. I do it on purpose to teach to the Asperger’s part of my Mix Kids, #4, now 16 and #5 is 10. I explain what it means and how it relates to the context, moment, or environment. They can memorize and usually successfully apply these to future incidents. If not, they will ask if what they don't understand is a figure of speech and what do you mean? At least they can identify them.

Reading this may offend some readers. I would like to explain. These neurological disorders respect no one. They do not discriminate. There are no boundaries, no sacred place. No place is safe from their social taboos. Without this education, society is often, understandably too quick to judge, claim an incorrect verdict, and fork over an unforgiving sentence. Many afflicted, either themselves or as family members, struggle to remain standing and to keep running the race. God has blessed me with humor to cope, understanding to forgive, and a passion for challenges to find solutions and persevere. May He bless all who desire, the same. Still, sometimes, I feel like I am going through an obstacle course, doing a two step dance, one step up and two steps back, uphill. Occasionally, my toes are stepped on, and sometimes I flat outright fall. Rise up and walk, run and keep running. This is our reality, our world.

Say What You Mean

“Snow White doesn’t need her nipples anymore,” #5 announced this morning. Although, after a couple of seconds, I knew what he meant, it sent disturbing signals riveting through my body, thus, provoking an irresistible teaching moment. His dog had been spayed and therefore would never have puppies. My first response thought was “yes, but they should remain on her body!” This compulsion to stop the world for understanding, guidance, and teaching would give even a normal person a good case of ADHD and likewise, my persistence and determination, one of OCD.

Although he is now 10, is quite capable of conversation, applying cultural and social rules to semantics isn’t a strong point. He says what he means. This inconsideration of how others will interpret him is typical of Asperger’s Disorder, part of his diagnosis. But, just short of being lethal to either of us, he will become as socialized and functional as possible for survival in this world. These days, one would have to spend at least several hours in a similar aged social gathering, in order to realize, something isn’t quite right. He is the youngest and most challenging of my five children with Tourette’s syndrome and typical co-morbid maladies, and two with additional Asperger’s. He has certainly followed in their footsteps. Living up to his siblings reputations, in spades!