Going ASD Rogue

While sitting in my back yard get away, it struck me. Rising up from my soul, came an answer to my dilemma, “what am I to do with this child?” I felt like I had hit a wall on almost every dimension. You know the spider Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web? Out of Determination and futility I have become like Charlotte, versatile; being able to move easily in any direction. Over the course of three days I had more and more peace about the decision to home school #5.

This goes against just about every autism educator and physician’s beliefs. Children on the Spectrum need socialization and inclusion. True. In this case it is a bit different. My #5, going into the 5th grade, has a complex set of diagnosis; Asperger’s, Tourettes, ADHD, OCD, SI (of course), and ODD. Now, the dynamics which ensues is as if observing a match of Asperger’s -vs -Tourettes. In his case the behavior problems which typically accompany Tourettes out matches that of the socialization challenges of the Asperger’s. I felt that if left in public school, he would be eventually either or both expelled from school, be slapped in a behavior development class, or wind up in a juvenile detention center. Not to speak of the fact that I had had it with trying to substitute teach receiving calls on numerous occasions about his behavior or what they had to do to discipline him or that I needed to go pick him up. This combined with my sophomore’s needs with the same set of diagnosis minus ODD, and a couple of other family dilemmas. My anxiety quirks were then acting up.

Although he has had a plethora of educators and medications which have indeed helped, my back was up against a wall. He simply could not be allowed to go to the Teepee and snuggle in the squishy blanket, which by the way would be in the back of his regular education 5th grade class room. He could not be allowed to go to the autism resource room when he was contrary. He could not be exposed to the ridicule of his classmates, who then had come to know what set him off and naturally ostracized him. At the end of 4th grade he was not even allowed on the playgrounds with the other children. Understandably so, after tying a life skills student to the tether ball pole, attacking a boy at the request of a young damsel, and pulling a girl down to the ground by her hood strings for ignoring him. Requesting and receiving a one on one was impossible without a court order and not good for him either. He needs to learn how to interact on his own.

Now, in all fairness, I must elaborate. What do you do with a child such as this in a class of 27? You take one or two children on the spectrum in a regular class and it is impossible to teach to the normally developing children as needed and give the challenged ones the help they need. As a teacher, I understand this. And being such, I was completely torn. Also, as being such, I knew I could teach to his level on all subjects and work on BEHAVIOR as public schools could legally not! We had a couple of other ways to help with socializing such as church related groups and activities. Group sports was out, after trying t-ball three different years, YMCA basketball, group swimming lessons, and blushingly, Upward soccer, of which the very first practice he ran after, tackled, and began punching a boy who had kicked the ball leading into his shin too hard.

After a full year of having Him at home, he has progressed in behavior by a milestone. The worst thing that has happened is he accidently said a curse word in children’s church. Of course this was the worst one you could say in a church setting. I believe, in his case, I have finally given him what he needs, my aattention, after loosing his father to cancer at age five, and a chance to forget that he can do the above things to get out of work, and an impulsive answer to social dilemmas.

We will do home school again this year. Hopefully, he will be ready for public school as a 7th grader. We do have hurdles to leap in the area of math after missing one and a half years of school because of being in a fully contained autism room at the end of 1st and all of 2nd grade. Luckily his autism teacher figured him out. He had learned if he acted like he couldn't do it, he could get out of his work. Now, he is on the spectrum without doubt, just not as far down as once thought. He is on a 7th grade reading level, has a surprising memory, and is very imaginative and loving. I plan to push him to the point of maximum resistance, as learned from his psychologist last year, and as I have unknowingly done since his birth.

Realizing that not all parents have the ability or luxury of such a decision, my heart goes out to all who struggle with these challenges. I definitely do not have all the answers. I just believe that all doors need to be left accessible in the world of autism. There is no cure all for these disorders and no child is alike. Never give up. There is always one more thing to try. And, there are thousands of us out here to share and to comfort.

*This title is a spin of of Sarah Palin's book, "Going Rogue."